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Many parents are unprepared for the changes their child will face between the ages of 9-12. So don't be surprised if children as young as nine become curious about their bodies and begin puberty. Most children will change schools at the age of 11 or 12, which can be a scary experience as they leave the comfort zone and start to mix with other pupils who are much older - and bigger - than they are.

Most children will begin the process of puberty between the ages of 9 and 12, whether they come to you with questions or not, all children of this age are curious about their changing bodies and sex. So make a point of starting a discussion with them. If you find that embarrassing, then pick up some leaflets or a book about puberty and leave it lying around instead

Physical changes

It's normal for girls to start having periods anywhere between the ages of 10-16, although some girls start even sooner than this. On average, periods start roughly two years after the breasts start developing and pubic hair appears. Girls also go through a growth spurt at this time, and can grow by as much as 10-12cm per year for the next two or three years.

Boys often start puberty slightly later - around the age of 11 - but it can happen as late as 14. However boys can experience wet dreams in the run up to puberty, so it's wise to explain that this might happen in case your son worries that he has wet the bed. The first sign of puberty in boys is the enlargement of the testes, followed by growth of the penis. Pubic hair appears soon after. Boys usually have their growth spurt between the ages of 12-14, when they will grow at a rate of around 4-6cm per year. For this reason it may take them a while to catch up with girls of the same age

Communication

Children aged 9 and over are much more confident speakers, and may begin swearing or using slang in order to fit in with their friends. It's best not to overreact to this, as they will often continue to do it just to wind you up!

By 12, your child will probably be able to read adult books and magazines. You may also notice that your previously chatty child becomes very quiet around you. This is normal, so don't criticise or tease your child about their behaviour and try to talk to them about things they are interested in - clothes, sports or TV - as this might be a good way to get conversation flowing. 

Emotional development

By the age of 10, children may start to show interest in the opposite sex - and having a boyfriend or a girlfriend becomes one of the best ways to impress their friends. Some children may also have same-sex crushes. This is a normal part of development and doesn't necessarily mean that they will have choose to have homosexual relationships when they are older.

Learning

By the age of 10, your child is likely to have regular homework and may also be busy with school projects. These teach your child how to work independently and improve their problem solving abilities, so although you can offer support and suggestions, it's best not to offer too much help.

If they are following the National Curriculum, children will also have the second set of statutory tests at the age of 11. Encourage them to set aside time for study and praise their efforts no matter what their results.

Social skills

Parents often find it difficult to cope with the way that most 11 or 12 year olds prefer to spend time with their friends rather than their family. Bear in mind that at this age it's very important to fit in, and most children would rather not spend time doing anything that their friends would consider 'uncool.' Try to respect your child's friendships by allowing them to invite a friend along to family gatherings.

Challenges

Many children start to clash with parents as they approach their teens, and this can be hard for parents to accept. Bear in mind that this is simply your child's way of expressing their independence and individuality and try not to take it personally.

How to help

Resist the temptation to nag or lecture your child, as this will almost certainly cause an argument. Sometimes you will need to give them more freedom, but remember that in some cases it is best for everyone if you stand your ground.

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Disclaimer: All content on the activefithealthykids.com site is provided for general information only, and should not be treated as medical advice; this should always be sort from your own doctor or any other health care professional. Activefithealthykids.com is not responsible or liable for any diagnosis made by a user based on the content of activefithealthykids.com website. Always consult your own GP if you're in any way concerned about you or your child’s health.